Making The Home Buying Decision

Whether this is your first home or one of many you should keep in mind that you have decisions to make and options available to you.  I have put together just a few tips that could make your home buying experience a little easier. 

 ”Pre-Approved”  Vs. ”Pre-Qualified!”

A Seller considers many factors when looking at an offer such as price, time period in which in will close, the ability of a buyer to buy, personal items the buyer is asking for, and if they are going to be paying any part of a buyer’s closing cost.  So it is important to make sure you are in the best position to negotiate when you make your offer.  Step out of your shoes and look at yourself as a buyer from a seller’s eyes.  Putting yourself in the best buying position is going to allow you to negotiate for the best price on the home of your choice.

In the past buyers where told to get “pre-qualified” by a lender. “Pre-qualified” is a term that society has learned means absolutely nothing.  You talk to the loan officer, give them a few details about your income, debt, ect. and then they tell you that you are “pre-qalified”.  If a loan officer has not documented and varified the information given to them, then this process is not worth a thing.  Society is much more educated and sellers want buyers that have been “Pre-Approved”.  A “Pre-approval” puts you as a buyer in a better position because the loan officer has now varified your credit history, your income, downpayment monies, etc.  Your loan is now in place.  You know your interest rate and payment and this link will even give you more insight on saving money.  When a seller sees that the only thing they have to worry about is the appraisal, title work, and inspections they are more likely to be more willing to negotiate with an offer.  As a buyer you have cut the time period to close down by several days and eliminated a huge unknown that the seller does not have to be concerned about. 

Choosing Your Home:

Know what you are looking for by making a list that identifies the needs of your household.  Make a list of everything in priority that everyone wants.  Then as you are looking at property you will be able to indentify the home that offers you the highest number of things you are looking for.  Keeping in mind that some things can be easily changed, such as carpet, paint, cabinets, etc. and you will not know until you are in the home what they are. Things such as neighborhoods, locations, school districts, crime rate are things that can not be change and should be considered before every looking at the home.  Make sure you are choosing the location that you will be happy to call home.

I have said it before and I will say it again, choose a Realtor® you can communicate with and trust.  Communicate all of your needs and desires to your real estate professional so that they have a clear understanding of the amenities and locations that would be of interest to you.  The experience and knowledge that they have in the market place will save you time and money, so let them do their job, but give them the information they need to do it with.

If you are buying in an area that you are not familar with you can do many things to find answers to question about location, crime, etc.  Ask your agent, call the local law enforcement and find out the number of calls to this area in a year.  Drive through the area after 5:00 p.m. or on the weekends and see if you like the atmosphere.  Check the schools out by visiting, asking questions and looking into.  There are many things to consider, but if you have them on your list they will be easy to check off as you go. Choose an area that meets your needs and your desires but do your homework.

Inspections are a common way to eliminate some unkown factors that are not easily seen.  Whole house inspections and termite inspections are probably the most common.  Others would include radon, lead etc.  These inspections can be done prior to the offer or as a contingency in the offer but as a buyer you need to make the decisions which inspections are important to you. 

Buying A Home Before You Sell 

If you need the equity out of your home before you can buy another, your best bet is to sell it first.  Trying to make an offer contingent upon selling your home puts you at a disadvantage in your negotiating power.  The seller more than likely does not know your home and will be resistant to your offer.  They have no gaurantee that their home is sold, no idea how long it will take to sell yours and will not negotiate in the same mannor that they would if this was not a factor.  It is best to sell first and buy later.  Having your home sold could save you thousands of dollars when you are negotiating an offer with a seller. 

You more than likely have the option of making an offer contingent upon selling your home and another option of listing your home contingent upon finding the right home.  But either way, the right home will be available in the right time.  Keep an eye on your options and the market but try to resist “falling in love” with a home until your home is sold.

It is a currently a buyer’s market in most areas but the motivation of the seller and the market you are in are individual in nature, so until you make that offer you are more than likely not going to know where you stand.  Make the best choice for you and make your offer accordingly.  Do not feel pushed to make an offer and do not make an uneducated decision.  This is one of the biggest purchases most people make in a lifetime and should be given a great deal of thought. 

The Reality Of the Negative News!

It makes me very angry every time I turn on the news or read an article on line that is saying how “horrible real estate is” and “the housing bubble this and that”.  We turn on the TV or read it on-line and assume that what they are saying is true about the whole nation and applies to every market. Well, that is absolutely absurd. There are many real estate markets that are fine and experiencing normal appreciation. There are other areas that are seeing an adjustment in appreciation but probably needed to.

The areas that are truly experiencing the “bubble” are the areas that have been out of control the last few years. I am sure that if you asked any of these narrow minded experts if they would buy real estate in the current market, the majority of them would also say yes, they would buy a home right now.

Well, if is is a good time to buy a home, how is the real estate market so bad?

Typical news hype, all this negative publicity are the words of a few narrow minded economist who are putting every real estate market in the nation in a box and making general statements that do not apply to the entire nation. Sure, our nation has some areas that have experienced foreclosures and a oversupply of housing. This is mostly due to the housing boom we saw during 2005 and 2006 in those same areas. At some point, the demand had to slow down. Ultimately, some investors did not get their timing right, therefore have foreclosures and an oversupply of housing. Most of this took place in Eastern and Western coastlines.

We have other markets that have experienced some decline in housing value and maybe a slower appreciation, but this due to the local economy. Not because of a “National Housing Bubble”.  That is like saying that every household in the nation has the same economic status or budget. Bottom line is that any real estate market is a local issue and individual in nature.

Toward the end of 2006 we saw the mortgage industry realize that they had been making loans to individuals with marginal credit and very little investment of their own money. Unfortunately, if those home buyers were not in a habit of saving and budgeting before they owned a home, they more than likely were not able to afterward either. This secondary market lending was not used in excess everywhere in the nation. But for the areas where it was used in abundance, this created additional housing when foreclosures started. Therefore, a oversupply and not the demand that had been there before because home buyers qualifications are not the same.

What we are experiencing in most of the country is a normal Buyer’s market after several years of having a Seller’s market. I have said this before and I will say it again…..property can not continue to appreciate at unrealistic amounts….at some point it will adjust itself. This is not the first time we have seen this and it will not be the last. We saw this in the mid ’80’s and somewhat again in the early ’90’s. So we have been very fortunate for a long time. If history repeats itself, we will go through this period for two to three years of a softer market and then several more years of a seller’s market with housing appreciation. A seller’s market is usually longer than any buyer’s market. Which is consistent with what we all hear about real estate being one of the better investments we make in our lifetime.

What some see as a crisis others see as a opportunity. Now is a good time to buy a home in most areas and we are seeing some real opportunities for the investor. Interest rates have come down and it is an election year so we will more than likely see our markets take an upturn in 2008.  I will repeat that all markets are individual in nature and what is important to the reader is what is happening in their local market.  Talk to your local real estate professional and lenders and do not assume anything!

Interest Rates & Our Real Estate Market: Some facts to know

             It appears some good news is coming our way!  I was told by a loan officer today that his bank has a 5.7% 30 year fixed rate loan and a 5.3% on a 15 year loan.  Rates are dropping! 

             Those of you who have not bought a home, have thought about buying a home or have a low rate that you do not want to give up, and those who have been thinking of investing in real estate may be seeing the opportunity to take advantage of the Buyer’s Market that covers most of the nation.  It may be the right time to cash in on real estate.  Those of you that have had credit problems still have options for loans, so do not sit back and miss the oppotunity.  It appears my prediction may have been right when I said that rates would fall as the election year started.  Some have speculated that we are in a recession or possibly a depression. The way I see it is that most areas in our country are seeing an adjustment in real estate appreciation and inflated prices.  In reality this had to occur.  Real Estate can not continue to appreciate at a unrealistic value.  What is unrealistic, you ask?  Well in my local market the average appreciation is somewhere around 2.5 to 3% on average over the past 22 years that I have been in the business.  Some areas had a real estate market that was appreciating at a rate that was double or better than what their normal appreciation was.  This will not work over the long haul.  If everytime you went to buy milk at the grocery it was 10 cents higher than the time before, how long would it take you before you stopped buying milk.  It is that simple. 

          At some point we will not pay, no matter how bad we want or need something.  On top of the real estate market they have driven gas prices up to the point that some peoples household gas expense have gone up 50% a month in the past year and that has affected the amount of housing they can afford.  It is real folks.  At some point the American people stop buying even what most of us see as the essentials or at least cut way back.  This is not the first time history has repeated itself and it will not be the last.  Stay focused on your goals and if buying a home is what you want to do…….it looks to me like it is going to be a great time to do just that!  

Did You Know?

The smaller the better!

The higher the interest rate, the more expensive it’s going to be.  High interest rates mean you will have to pay back more on the money you borrow. Another good rule of thumb is that affordability increases if you use an adjustable rate mortgage (it’s easier to qualify this way). Choosing between fixed rates and adjustable loans can be very confusing.  Typically, right now most people are choosing fixed rates because they are low and the fear of the unknown of the future economy.  Fixed rates have a higher upfront cost.  Of course, you will pay….you will pay upfront for the fixed rate or over the term of the loan on an adjustable rate loan  There will be a various prices that you can choose from, depending on what kind of financing you decide is right for you.  Try this for more mortgage loan tips.

The Federal Government holds a considerable amount of power, but they cannot control everything. Mortgage interest rates are affected by many unpredictable political, economic and social factors. So there is no guarantee what
direction interest rates will go, despite the forecasts of the experts. So, make your decision based on where you are at the present time, looking at everthing:   your budget, your needs and your future plans.

Locking in rates assures your lowest interest.  If you do decide you want to lock in at a certain interest rate, you will need to complete a loan application with your mortgage company. This must be done so that your commitment does not run out before your loan is approved. Follow up and be se sure that the lender is receiving all of the necessary documentation. Your property will need to be appraised as part of your loan.  The quicker all of these things get done the faster you get in your home and insure your rate.

Don’t get caught up in all that there is to read and listen to about what rates are “going” to do.  You could miss your dream home waiting for rates to fall.  Besides rates can go up just as fast as they came down. 

Visit again soon! I have more information that I hope will help you!

Adoption: Making My House a Home & My World Complete!

      Five years ago I was a busy Realtor®, was involved in everything I could be involved in and certainly never realized just how alone I was.  There was only one thing that never stopped going through my mind, a void that just never would fade.  I had a longing for a child in my life and decided to adopt a child.  My family and friends were shocked when I told them I was going to adopt a child because they were not sure that I could possibly handle a child in my single, hectic life.  Making the decision on where to adopt was difficult but for several reasons I choose Guatemala.  The cost were astronomical and very difficult to overcome. 

               For those of you thinking of adoption and concercerned about financing try these links for some alternative:

                               http://www.adoptionfinancing.org/

                              http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/for_adoptive_families/financing.html

                              http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/resources/fianance_adoption.html

 The paperwork a little overwhelming, and the hoops that I jumped through seemed pretty small at times.  Being very strong minded, I never backed up and the adoption process was well under way.  Eleven months after I had started the long drawn out legal process I recieved an email that made my palms sweat and my heart skip a beat.  It was around midnight when I opened the email that said “Could this be your daughter?”  with the most precious picture of a baby girl who was 3 days old, bundled in pink and ironically had her fingers crossed as if to say “please let it be me”.  I do not think I have ever been so excited in my life.  As I looked at her Birth Certificate we shared the 7th as a birthday and were both born at 11:55 pm.  How wild is that?

                    What would her name be?  What did I need for her?   For the next several months I watched her grow through email and it seemed they would never call to tell me the time had come to have her with me.  All these things and a thousand more questions went through my mind everyday.  I tried to fill my lack of patience with postive things, I would write to her, dream about her and spend time getting her room ready.  One of the poems I wrote the week before we left for Guatemale, I would like to share with you (please forgive the fact that I am not a poet.  If you are a mother thinking of adopting or someone who has been adopted I hope you relate and enjoy this poem I wrote to my daughter.

 

IN A MOTHERS HEART

Your Birth Mother brought you into our lives,

We can’t wait for you to arrive!

She gave me the chance to give to you what you deserve & need.

All the love in your heart…..she planted the seed.

Giving me the chance to nurture it and watch you grow.

All I need……I do not know.

But inch by inch & year by year,

We will grow through all our fear.

I will feed you when your hungry & hold you when you cry.

I know I won’t be perfect but I will truely try.

I will teach you what I know & let others do the same.

I will thank God everyday for the day you came.

I prayed for you to share my life each day.

I will continue to pray for God to show us the way.

Because the love for you that your Birthmother & I both share,

Is only a love that a Mother’s heart can bare.

Who & what you become we will wait to see.

No matter what you choose your life’s path to be.

Take each day, be happy & strong.

You will be loved even when your path gets off coarse or is wrong.

Don’t rush through life, take one day at a time.

Enjoying every day will never be a crime.

When life gets tough as it sometimes does,

REMEMBER…..Nothing can overthrow a MOTHER’S LOVE!

 

       

          Seven and a half months later we left for Guatemala to bring her home.  They brought her straight to me the day we arrived and I could not believe what a feeling rushed through my body as I first held her in my arms.  Sure…I had questioned myself a couple of times…. if you really could have the maternal feelings for a child you did not birth.  The answer to that question is undoubtedly YES!   From that moment on we began a bond that has never stopped.  Some days when I look in her eyes I wonder what I did before she came into my life.  She is an absolute joy every day.  She has a personality that will not quit, she is smart as a tac and all I want for her in life is the very best life has to offer.  Her birthday is Monday and I still can’t believe it has been 4 years since I recieved that email.  I still thank God everyday for the blessing that the void in my heart brought!  I would have never dreamed a child could adapt to my hectic world and roll with it, like she does.  She already knows the reality in our world of showing property, building homes, words like contract, closing and many other things that my hectic life is full of.  All in all, she gives it all purpose and makes my house a home! 

If you or someone you know is thinking of adoption, tell them to go for it!  It is awesome.  I would enjoy hearing your adoption story so please share it, if you will.

Are You Thinking of Buying A Home In 2008?

It is a Buyer’s market in most areas right now and a great time to think about buying.  If you have been wanting to buy a home and thinking you can’t, it is time to start thinking about how you can.  You have several options and lots to think about so here is my thoughts on where to start and what to do. There are many tools on the internet that are helpful when buying a home so I have added my opinion and included several other options for you to look into.  I hope this helps you get one step closer to your dream. 

First and foremost, how is your credit?  Have you established good credit.  A credit score of 680 and above puts you in the best position in getting a loan.  But if your score is lower you will still have options.  It just may cause you to have higher interest rates or you may have to do some work on your credit.   

             Ways to build your credit score:

The Attorney’s Guide To Clean Credit

37 Days to Clean Credit

The Best Credit Repair Package

Building Credit

All About Credit Report

What price home can you afford? 

A good rule of thumb for establishing your house payment is:  gross monthly - debts x 36% = house payment. 

For example purposes we will use:   6% mortgage with a term of 30 years

$100,ooo.oo = $600.00 a month (appoximately principal and interest only)

This Rule of Thumb is kinda from the old school of real estate, but I find that individuals that use it the will stay in a better financial position after they buy their home.  Be smart….do not buy more home than you want to pay for.  It is easy to fall in love with a house but the way to maintain that love is to be happy while you are paying for it. 

            Choose a loan officer whom you can trust and that will take the time to talk with you about all of your options. 

                     Question for your loan officer: 

                                What are my closing cost?  Closing cost will vary from mortgage company to mortgage company but for the most part you will be looking at paying for a credit report, appraisal fee, recording and release fee, title search/opinion, and possibly a service fee or survey.  Your service fee will be the biggest variation so be aware of your closing cost and interest rates.  These are the main differences as you make your decision.

Okay, now you have found out what you can afford and how you are going to pay for it.

Go Find Your Home…..My advice is that you find a real estate agent that you know you can trust and you can communicate with.  Share with them what is most important to you and feel free to contact them with any questions you may have.  You can look on the Internet and view some great virtual tours but when buying a home go in and take a look.  Pictures can be deceiving.

              Choose a Realtor®: 

                         A Realtor you trust.

                         A Realtor you can talk to and communicate with.

                         A Realtor that works hard for you.

                         Know who is paying the Realtor.

What others have to say about buying a home:

Common Mistakes Smart People Make When Buying Their First Home

Seven steps to buying your home

Realtor.com

Home Buying Tips

Selling Your Home While Riding the Roller Coaster of Divorce….

One of the most difficult times you will go through in life is divorce.  It is the end of a dream and the end to a  journey you thought were on forever.  Most people can keep their head and continue through life step by step getting through the logistics but the legal tangle is the toughest part.  Most couples have to sell their home before the can financially move forward with their residence and liquidate the equity to pay for buying a new one or for the moving expenses they will have.  Sure some people can temporarily live with family or rent an apartment, but lets face it, maintaining two households is difficult at best.  Your home stands for your marriage and unity so everything about it reminds you of the marriage that no longer exist.

 

Finding a way to get through the emotional stuff is certainly very important and anything that makes this easier and more rational is the way to go.  In most all cases it is wise to find a real estate agent that you both can work with. This will help reduce the amount of communication and making decisions about price.  During this time you feel like you are losing half of everything and starting over.  In most cases people have not made a great deal of preperation financially for a divorce and your financial resources quickly get reduced because of living expenses and legal fees.  Try to keep everything in perspective.  Pricing your home for the current market is very important and your agent can help you with this.  Remember, that even though you may not get the money that you want, it is best to resolve this issue as quickly as possilbe. 

So you find a Realtor® that you both can agree on and communicate with.  This in itself is difficult because of the need to disagree through a divorce.  Very few people remain rational with one another through a divorce and want to make an issue out of every step of the process.  If you can remember that the decision of the divorce has been made and the quicker you can get through the process the better off everyone will be. The only people that benefit from a divorce dragging on are the attorney’s involved and that is only making it more difficult for the two of you.  Try to work through the issues that you view differently than your spouse and come up with a fair happy medium so you can get on with your life.  Once you have a Realtor®, they do all the communicating for you without either of you having to communicate about anything.  If you can communicate, (pat yourself on the back because most people in your shoes can not) it will be less time consuming but most couples can’t.  Very few people are on the same page going through a divorce, so deciding on price, repairs and responsibility is very tough to do.  Most real estate agents have dealt with this issue many times, and can help you work through the issues allowing you to see the reality of what is best for both of you. 

The main concern is your state laws and how real estate is percieved in divorce court and how it relates to your individual situation.  In Kentucky, married couples have “dior interest” in all real estate owned, which means the couple owns the property with undivided interest. You are probably wise not to buy another home until your divorce is final because any new real estate could very easily then become part of your marital assets.  One option you might have with the market being what it is right now is a contract on a home with a closing to take place 30 days after your divorce is final. But make sure you run this by your attorney before you sign any papers.  Everything that occurs while selling your home will require both Seller’s signature and your Realtor® will help make sure the both of you are protected throughout the process.  You will want to make sure you understand the laws of your state before you sign documents and especially before you buy another home.  At closing you will want to make sure that all of your liens are paid in full and you recieve your share of the equity or that the equity is held in escrow until your divorce is final. 

If one of you is buying the other out on your home, then you will want to “quit claim” the deed and make sure they refinance or remove you (the owner whom is  leaving) from the mortgage.  Otherwise you will continue to show this debt on your credit report.  If you do not have an income to offset anything on your credit report it will reduce your buying power down the road.  This seems simple but for some reason, I have seen many people not get removed from a mortgage.  Your property settlement in the divorce does not over-ride the fact that you are responsible for the note and mortgage unless you have been released from the debt. 

What can happen Example:  I know a couple that went through a divorce.  They sold their home, the divorce was final two months later and all was good.  Two months later the husband called his ex-wife and was furious.  He said he had gone to buy a truck and could not because he still had the mortgage of a duplex they owned on his credit report.  She had recieved the duplex in the divorce so he could retain his 401K, but his attorney had not informed him that she would need to refinance the duplex in order to be removed from the note/mortgage at the bank.  Without income from the duplex which was all going to her, he only had the debt showing on his liabilities.  The outcome was that he had to pay for her to refinance the duplex because she had never agreed to do so.  It cose him another $1800.00 to be able to buy his truck and get the debt out of him name.

Remaining Calm:  Usually their is one person wanting the divorce and one that does not.  This creates what I call the emotional rollercoaster that is uncontrollable and out of control.  If you are on the rollercoaster and are having trouble remaining calm through your divorce I can make you some suggestions on remaining calm through your divorce.

1.  realize you are not alone….you have just joined the other 75% of today’s population and their is an ending to this nightmare.

2. the crazy dreams and nightmares are normal.  If you need an anti-depressant go to your doctor and discuss your situation with them.

3. the book Crazy Time is a good resource to make sure you know that.

4.  Exercise your body and your mind every day a little.

5.  Take baby steps/one day at a time.  Things will start to take a new direction and certainly open doors along the way.

6.  Find someone you can talk to and will listen and listen and listen.  Talk through your emotions because they will change moment by moment.  One minute you love this person and the next you hate them with everything in them.

7.  When you feel you need to do something irrational….find something that can not hurt anyone and that you won’t regret.  Remember you want to come out of this whole situation whole.  Your spouse has taken alot of you and your time, but they do not get anymore than they have already taken.  Being angry is healthy but be cautious what you do with this anger.  Keep it channeld in the right direction and working for you.

Example:  I throuh green tomatoes for 45 minutes in my backyard one day.  What I really wanted to do was go to his workplace and ring her neck right after I kicked him as hard as I could.

8.  Do not put your attorney in the position of having to explain to the judge why you did something stupid.  Whatever it is you are wanting to do….think it through and make sure it will not come back to haunt you.

9.  Remember…..some of the best things you are have come because you learned them the hard way.  You will come out stronger and smarter on the other side of all this.

10.  Paranoid that everyone thinks you are a failure and are talking about you?  Trust me, they are not and if they are it is not for long.  They have their own issues and problems they are worried about.  Most individuals are way to self consumed to be worried about you.  Surround yourself with people you love and that love you.  They will tolerate you no matter what you are going through at any given moment and will support you throughout your divorce.

11.  The quicker you can get off the roller coaster and on with life the better off you will be.

Helpful Sites:

Divorce Secrets

Avoid the 10 Biggest Mistakes Divorce Mistakes

Legally Save Thousands On Your Divorce

Broken Hearted 911 Program

Stimulating the Feeling of Happiness

Brain Music Power

Anxiety and Panic Attacks Self Help Program

Some other Links that may be helpful:

http://www.divorcehq.com/sellingyourhome.html

http://homebuying.about.com/od/sellingahouse/ht/homeprep.htm

http://www.utahcountylistings.com/Seller/divorce.htm

My cup stays half full!

As I finished the holiday season I think all the awesome things in my life.  I started Christmas morning with my almost 4 yr. old daughter easing toward to the family room to see what Santa had left.  She was so precious as she reached for the “Thomas” items, eased each inexpensive item out of her stocking, felt of her soft new robe and finally stepped onto the 2 speed battery powered 4 wheeler.  What a sight to watch!  My heart was filled with love and aderation!  She had gone to throw some paper away when she noticed that Santa had eaten the cookies and drank the milk we had made last night.  She said, MOM (in a soft, shocked voice) and pointed for me to notice.  With a smile I said “I know, do you think he liked them.”  Then she asked me how our pillows on our couch got messed up.  (I did not want to explain that I had used that area while getting all the items out, and not straightened them up)  I said I was not sure but maybe Santa had needed a nap while he was here.  We went outside and road the 4 wheeler.  Which she mastered in no time.  Even “spinning out” within 10 minutes from turning it on.  Later in the day, she told Nanny about how Santa had eaten the cookies and taken a nap at our house.  I waited so long in life to have this awesome day and it brings tears to my eyes to think how fortunate I am.  On top of all of this, I got all a person could want for Christmas and have had a great holiday.

Yet somehow today, I am very aware of how much sadness is in the world.  I wish everyone could see every obsticle as an opportunity.  That everyone could take all the pain in their heart and channel it toward something exciting and meaningful.  That each one of us could see the positive before we see the negative.  Why is it that we first pay attention to the sad, the painful, the agony, the negative, and the need to escape reality?  Is it the media’s fault?  I don’t think so.  It is our fault.  If we did not thrive on the negative, they would report the positive.  

I guess what has gotten me thinking today are several memories and several friends lives right now.  You see, I had what I think of, as one of the best Dad’s a person could have.  He and I were very close and had a great deal in common.  My dad lived life like there was no tomorrow.  He worked hard, smiled everyday and had a really great ability to make everyone feel special.  When I was 18 and he was 45, he had a severe heart attack which left him disabled and unable to live the life he loved so much.  Two and a half months later he passed away.  I spent a year of my life angry, sad and somewhat withdrawn.  I have missed him terribly every since.  Sure, some days I think of him and laugh and other days I can’t think of him without crying.  Twenty two years have passed and I now know how grateful I am to have had the Dad I had.  I just I did not have him long enough.  I look around at Dad’s on drugs, Dad’s that drink to much, Dad’s that never take the time, and Dad’s that just don’t seem to notice and I realize how lucky I was.  I know I was fortunate to be born into the family I was born into.  Not only did I have a great Dad but I still have a wonderfully, strong and awesome Mom.  She has taught me so much and I could never repay her for what she has meant to me.  

I married my high school sweetheart when I was 24 only to go through a divorce when I was 30.  My heart was broken and I spent 6  months working and going home.  I did not want to face anyone and just knew everyone in our small town was talking about us.  My brother told me that I had just joined the other 50% of the population and my mother kept telling me to get angry.  But any of you that have been through a divorce that was not your idea, know how painful that is.  The great thing is that once that 6 months past I realized that I had a whole life to live and I better start living it.  One of the first things I did was dig a hole in the ground and build my first house.  From that point on I have not stopped.  I am still single and 4 years ago I adopted my daughter.  Every day I thank God for giving me the courage to look at my glass half full!

  One of my lifelong friends has recently confided in me that her husband is drinking 3 liters of alcohol a week and is being abusive.  Another high school friend has called me within the last 30 days to tell me that his wife of 22 years has asked for a divorce.  One of my co-workers has spent the past year of her life fighting cancer and was told last week for the 3rd time in a year that it is in remission.  My uncle who fights bi-polar desease is without a doubt on his way back to the hospitol.  Being in real estate, I have customers that if they do not get their homes sold they are going to loose them.  Another close friend has just spent the first Christmas without her Mom who passed away in August.  These are just a few things that have occurred in my imediate life lately that are truely sad for me.  Then you have the normal stuff, the news, the people you work with and the relationships that we all have and all the crud that they bring with them. 

It is a fact, that who you surround yourself with is exactly who you will be.  If you are around negative people very long you will soon be negative.  The problem with this is, we all tend to be with those we are comfortable being with.  A co-worker and friend of mine use to say “water seeks it’s own level”.  Well it is true, if we want to be more positive, we need to surround ourselves with positive people.  When we hear someone say something negative, we need to immediately say something positive.  Try it….it is amazing to watch a negative person react to this.  Being positive is a choice.  For some of us it comes natural but for others it has to be learned.  If you are a person that wants to learn to be more positive or you basically are positive but need a lift me up.  Try these options or respond to this and maybe we can all share some ideas that will be helpful to one another.  I have had my share of crud and I refuse to let it affect who I am as a person.  Call me a optimist if you want but mainly I hope for all of us, that we live the best life we possibly can.  Every tough thing I have gone through in my life has given me the opportunity to grow as a person.  I have gained strength, knowledge, courage, friendships and love all because a bad thing occurred.  My word to you is to take each day as it comes and turn every obstical into and opportunity!  Don’t look at the problem….look at the solution.

Some ways to overcome the negative and live with your glass half full:

Instant Positive Attitude 

Pacific Daily News     Develop positive thinking for 2008

Gratitude-Bliss Meditation

Power of Positive Thinking

Don’t get me wrong, all of the people going through all the crud are a part of my life everyday and I am absolutely determined to be the most positive I can to each and every one of them.  You see I have a choice….I can get down and negative with them or help them see the positive in what they are going through.  Some will get it and others won’t, it is only by place to allow them to see the other side of a bad situation. 

Are You Dealing With The Foreclosure Issue?

 I wanted to give some suggestions that may help you:

1-888-995-HOPE is the Government hot-line for helpful information and advise for you.

Watch out for the foreclosure scams out there.  The government is concerned enough that they have gone to utube to get the word out….so be aware of the scam artist that are out there.

Talk to your mortgage company as soon as you see you have a problem. When you talk with them get names, numbers, and document all conversations. You may need a third party to do your talking for you.  For some reason they tend to respond to a third party better than the mortgagee.  My suggestion is a Realtor experienced in these situations or a real estate Attorney.  As a real estate agent, I have been the third party who goes to bat for the homeowner is facing a very hard time in life.  Most mortgage companies do not want to be homeowners and they know that they are in a loose loose situation so they do want to resolve the issues.  But the main concern is that they want the money that is owed to them.  So trying to resolve the issue before it gets to far is the key.  If you see that the payments are getting to a point that you can not make it…..start the process of negotiating with them.  If you are even a month behind, more than likely the foreclosure process has started.  Do not wait until the foreclosure starts.  Even though you can stop a foreclosure, stopping it before it starts is the key to saving money.  Once it starts the legal fees and cost start clicking away.  Every minute counts.

Know Your Foreclosure Rights!

In 2001 The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD)

issued guidelines mandating that all borrowers with FHA loans that are

under HUD regulations be informed of their rights to mortgage loan work

out programs.  See HUD ML2002-12.  The Veteran’s Administration (VA)

also has many alternatives that can help keep a Veteran out of

foreclosure. You may be entitled to federally mandated FHA/HUD or VA

loss mitigation assistance from your lender to stop foreclosure

proceedings by:

1. Interest Rate Reduction

2. Extending the term of your mortgage

3. Adding your past due payments in to the balance of your loan

4. Adding the past due payments on to the end of your loan

5. Selling your house for a lower amount that what you owe.  (Sometimes referred to as a quick sale.)                                         

6. Deeding the house to the bank or the government in lieu or what you owe (Sometimes reffered to ”deed in lieu of foreclosure”)

 Foreclosure laws vary from state to state and it is important that you find out what you rights and laws are.  Do not assume anything.  Do your homework.  Foreclosure is not the end of the world but it is something that if at all possible you want to try to avoid.  The damage it will do to your credit is an issue that you will face for a long period of time.  Get good advise from your tax adviser or an attorney before you decide that foreclosure or bankruptcy is the route for you.

If you are reading this because it applies to you, I wish you well in the future.  Please remember that you are not alone and certainly this could be anyone any day of the week.  Everyone goes through tough times and what does not kill us will make us stronger.  I hope this post will help you in some way!  Stay Strong! Stay Determined! And most of all Stay Smart!

Do You Qualify For The Interest Freeze?

It is all over the news and everyone has an opinion but the Bush Administration is at least making an attempt to aid the need in the real estate portion of our economy. A great place to see some of the articles and opinion out there is Mortgage News Daily.  Check it out. 

Here are some great question and answers  (USA TODAY) that may help your understanding.  I have said before, that I have faith in our leaders…..and I do think they are on the right track of coming up with ways to help our struggling real estate market.  The real estate market is tough but rates came down this week and I still feel if we do not panic things will begin to rebound in 2008.  Please remember that not all areas will be effected the same.  All real estate markets are different as I have said before. 

Oprah Makes Us Think Again….and Again!

It seems every time I turn around lately Oprah (even in the news/politics today cnn.com today)has made me really look at myself and evaluate what is really important in life.  You see now that I am 40 something I am getting to experience the “midlife crazy” time.  Yep, alot of the people in my life are either going through a divorce or having marital problems.  Well, maybe if we all considered some of what Oprah gives us the chance to learn ways we may have a better life.  I personally think she is awesome.

With everything negative you hear in a day, along with the busy schedules, stress from work and news we all get drug down.  They say surround yourself with positive people and you will be able to stay positive.  The theory is good…. but if you only see the headline on the newspaper or turn the TV on you may not make through an hour feeling real positive.  But I am determined to be as positive as I can. Both of these Oprah stories below are worth reading and listening to.  They will certainly make you stop and think.

Sure we all have problems and certainly can complain about how we feel, what hurts, who has hurt us and all that other crap but in the real world…..no one can change it for us and only we have control over ourselves.  My mother always says:  “You come into this world alone and you die alone!”  Well guess what….she is right again.

 We all keep we could all use the Venting Diet and it does’t cost a thing.

 The stories about Rick & Patrick are more than inspiring and worth seeing if you haven’t already.

Some other great thoughts from Oprah’s World:

Marriage Proposals are great ideas if you are thinking of popping the question.

Love Making Tips - heck, it is a great way to stay positive when you are with the right “one”!

Creative Dates - What a great idea….we all can use new positive ideas!

Some other great blogs from wordpress.com members:

Choices…..a very insightful blog.