Five years ago I was a busy Realtor®, was involved in everything I could be involved in and certainly never realized just how alone I was. There was only one thing that never stopped going through my mind, a void that just never would fade. I had a longing for a child in my life and decided to adopt a child. My family and friends were shocked when I told them I was going to adopt a child because they were not sure that I could possibly handle a child in my single, hectic life. Making the decision on where to adopt was difficult but for several reasons I choose Guatemala. The cost were astronomical and very difficult to overcome.
For those of you thinking of adoption and concercerned about financing try these links for some alternative:
http://www.adoptionfinancing.org/
http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/for_adoptive_families/financing.html
http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/resources/fianance_adoption.html
The paperwork a little overwhelming, and the hoops that I jumped through seemed pretty small at times. Being very strong minded, I never backed up and the adoption process was well under way. Eleven months after I had started the long drawn out legal process I recieved an email that made my palms sweat and my heart skip a beat. It was around midnight when I opened the email that said “Could this be your daughter?” with the most precious picture of a baby girl who was 3 days old, bundled in pink and ironically had her fingers crossed as if to say “please let it be me”. I do not think I have ever been so excited in my life. As I looked at her Birth Certificate we shared the 7th as a birthday and were both born at 11:55 pm. How wild is that?
What would her name be? What did I need for her? For the next several months I watched her grow through email and it seemed they would never call to tell me the time had come to have her with me. All these things and a thousand more questions went through my mind everyday. I tried to fill my lack of patience with postive things, I would write to her, dream about her and spend time getting her room ready. One of the poems I wrote the week before we left for Guatemale, I would like to share with you (please forgive the fact that I am not a poet. If you are a mother thinking of adopting or someone who has been adopted I hope you relate and enjoy this poem I wrote to my daughter.
IN A MOTHERS HEART
Your Birth Mother brought you into our lives,
We can’t wait for you to arrive!
She gave me the chance to give to you what you deserve & need.
All the love in your heart…..she planted the seed.
Giving me the chance to nurture it and watch you grow.
All I need……I do not know.
But inch by inch & year by year,
We will grow through all our fear.
I will feed you when your hungry & hold you when you cry.
I know I won’t be perfect but I will truely try.
I will teach you what I know & let others do the same.
I will thank God everyday for the day you came.
I prayed for you to share my life each day.
I will continue to pray for God to show us the way.
Because the love for you that your Birthmother & I both share,
Is only a love that a Mother’s heart can bare.
Who & what you become we will wait to see.
No matter what you choose your life’s path to be.
Take each day, be happy & strong.
You will be loved even when your path gets off coarse or is wrong.
Don’t rush through life, take one day at a time.
Enjoying every day will never be a crime.
When life gets tough as it sometimes does,
REMEMBER…..Nothing can overthrow a MOTHER’S LOVE!
Seven and a half months later we left for Guatemala to bring her home. They brought her straight to me the day we arrived and I could not believe what a feeling rushed through my body as I first held her in my arms. Sure…I had questioned myself a couple of times…. if you really could have the maternal feelings for a child you did not birth. The answer to that question is undoubtedly YES! From that moment on we began a bond that has never stopped. Some days when I look in her eyes I wonder what I did before she came into my life. She is an absolute joy every day. She has a personality that will not quit, she is smart as a tac and all I want for her in life is the very best life has to offer. Her birthday is Monday and I still can’t believe it has been 4 years since I recieved that email. I still thank God everyday for the blessing that the void in my heart brought! I would have never dreamed a child could adapt to my hectic world and roll with it, like she does. She already knows the reality in our world of showing property, building homes, words like contract, closing and many other things that my hectic life is full of. All in all, she gives it all purpose and makes my house a home!
If you or someone you know is thinking of adoption, tell them to go for it! It is awesome. I would enjoy hearing your adoption story so please share it, if you will.
I am also an adoptive mother and, fifteen years later, am still in Nursery Nirvana! Adopting my son is the most beautiful thing I have ever done. The joy I feel every day is beyond what I ever imagined it could be. I see that you feel the same way.
I would be happy to share my story with you whenever you wish. In the meantime, here is an excerpt from my book which I know you will relate to:
“It was 2:00 a.m., exactly 12 hours since you had come home. Awakened by the hungry cry of a newborn baby – music to my ears ¬– I scrambled from my bed, and lifted you from your lace-bedecked basinet. As I straightened, you arched your back, as if straining to move closer to me, and I was lost. That was when I truly fell in love. I felt an electric thrill pierce my heart and love so profound, so complete, that I was immobile for those few seconds of utter and complete bonding. This was my son, my child, and no matter who provided the “clay” in which your sweet soul was housed, you were the same person, the same entity that I would have mothered had I provided the flesh, which was the temple of your soul.”
Those feelings have never left me.
I am so very happy for you and am pleased that you are sharing your experience with everyone.
I firmly believe that I have received the same child I was meant to receive whether I gave birth or adopted. The same soul, the same entity was meant to be mine from the beginning of time. Debra Shiveley Welch
Lovely site! keep up the great work, regards bree